This year I really wanted to approach things a little differently. I'm usually good at creating lists or new year resolutions, however, mid-year and all that life stuff later, I'd either forget, become unmotivated or think - ah, it's unreasonable anyway.
Lately, I've been doing a lot of soul searching - call it getting older, not letting one more day go wasted, what have you. I noticed that most of my life I was running away - a dysfunctional family, people telling me what I was before they even knew who I was, or a unhealthy, co-dependent, abusive relationship. I always felt that there was more to my life, so I'd leave just.like.that - move to another state, go to another school, get into another unhealthy, co-dependent, abusive relationship. I spent most of my teens and all of my twenties running. Now that I'm in my thirties, I'm playing catch up, trying to slow life down.
So now, I'm approaching 2011 with a fresh perspective. This year my main goal is to find MY authentic self - not who I should have been or could have been, but as God made me to be. His perfect plan.
Enter Making Things Happen 2011 (here, here, here and here). I prayed for change, for direction, for the strength to get.it.together. Then, one day I was surfing around, I happen to click on a link and there it was - que the angles, storm clouds partying, and God's mighty hand smacking me on the back of the head - no, just kidding ... LOL. It wasn't the first time I had seen these fabulous ladies! I first happened to stumble upon Making Brands Happen, but at the time, it didn't apply to me, so I moved on.
I entered to win the scholarship they were giving away - but, I know my luck - so I went ahead and bought my seat anyway. While anxiously awaiting the drawing - which was extended because of the holiday ... kill me why don't you - I scoured the internet for everything I could find on the workshop. Blogs, peoples reviews, everything I found only confirmed the feeling that I needed to be there. I didn't win, by the way. booo.
On my journey to fully educate myself - ah, hem. cyber stalk. - I started to read the MTH blog. There I learned invaluable lessons, tidbits of information, positive reinforcement and daily motivation. WOWZERS!
One thing I learned is to be true to who I am. I love lists, but mine are PAGES people (oh, learned how to make that less daunting - check it out here - love these girls!). Anyway, as much as I thought it was amazing how people were doing 101 in 1001 days, I'm more an immediate gratification kind of person. So, to keep it more manageable, I created a list of 11 in 2011. corny. I know.
At first I just started writing everything that came to mind. I noticed how I kept going back to - how is she doing it, what do I want them to think - it was becoming more about the mask I've worn for so long verses the person behind it saying, yoo hoo?!
I then scrapped it completely, right there on the spot. I started a new list on a clean sheet of paper...ahhh. I kindly labeled it: FIND MY AUTHENTIC SELF. I then proceeded to write the top eleven things that will get me there.
1. Submit, wholeheartedly, to God
2. Choose love, EVERY. TIME.
3. Make time for things I love and that inspire me
4. Be an amazing photographer
5. Create an authentic creative business
6. Be a better sister, daughter, friend, wife and mom (to my dog, Alice)
7. Mind + Body = Synergy
8. Support Shelvie in his worship (music) through prayer and encouragement
9. Stop creating my own roadblocks
10. Learn to let go
11. Take risks
I created an inspiration board to go along with this list and to help inspire me as life happens.
from left to right, top to bottom
Bokeh (taken by a friend, Liz Luderer). This represents number seven, mind + body. Even though it is out of focus, the colors work in harmony to create balance. It creates an ...ahh... moment for me. Life sometimes is all over the place, unfocused, but as this image represents, sometimes that can be beautiful and equally settling.
This picture was taken (with an iPhone) by a good friend, Gina, last September when we were in Vegas. It's me and Shelvie holding hands and represents number two for me, choose love every time. He didn't want to be there - I was at a convention and gone all day - but he went anyway to support me and because I didn't want to go alone. He's like that, always supportive, and in return I want to learn to choose love. EVERY. TIME. because he's sooo worth it!
MTH represents number nine, stop creating my own roadblocks. Lara states that goals can be really overwhelming if you don’t break them down. This exercise helps you to break your goals down to more manageable steps or decisions, making it less daunting and more likely to be finished - providing that sense of accomplishment, that thing we all need to keep moving forward.
What else could represent taking risks (number eleven) better then jumping off a cliff?! (image provided by the MTH blog) I remember, as a teenager, I used to do some really daring things - one being cliff jumping - and into some really sketchy waters I might add. I don't know at what point in life I decided to live 'safe', but I want to get back to that girl that used to look challenge head on and a say - oh yeah, watch me?! - that even when scared, do it anyway, take the risk, JUMP.
'LIVE WHAT YOU LOVE' represents number six - be a better sister, daughter, friend, wife and mom (to my dog, Alice). I think when I'm doing that which makes me happy and fills me, it will overflow over to those I love the most.
Number one - submit, wholeheartedly, to God - is represented by the stormy sky (don't know where I grabbed this image from, I think I did a Google search). That even through the midst of the storm, call on Him and he will break through and shine a light for you to follow. It gives me peace and encouragement to know that when life crashes around you, wants to defeat you from every direction, God is there. He is almighty, faithful. He is your fighter, your protector and your deliverer through it all.
The Steve Martin quote, 'Be so good they can't ignore you', is number five - create an authentic creative business. This quote, another one from the MTH blog - telling you, these girls are amazing! - empowers me! If I can just learn to be me, stop holding myself back, I would knock peoples socks off with what I can do and accomplish. hmmmm...
This image is just so beautiful, I seriously want to jump right into this photo shoot!
This represents number three - make time for things I love and that inspire me. I love artsy, crafty, DIY projects. I want to learn how to sing and play the piano so I can be with my husband as we worship our Creator together. I want to learn how to knit, ride a horse (I'm talking about full on speed here, not a cheesy gallop) and to drive a motorcycle.
This photograph, by Rodney Smith, represents a lot about photography for me - location, composition, living + nonliving, color, less is more, cropping, balance - I could go on and on. This picture is my number four, be an amazing photographer. I don't just want to take pretty pictures, I want to evoke thought, capture emotion and create visual art.
I wish I was amazing at drawing - life-like, not interpretation - but I'm not, never had the opportunity to let the hand + mind bond. Instead, photography accomplishes that for me. I guess my mind + eye have a better relationship .. lol
Confetti is my number ten - learn to let go. Like New Years Eve in NY, when your ready to walk away from the mistakes and let downs of that year and hopeful for the new start that comes with a new year. In 2011, I would like to adopt that attitude for longer than a fleeting moment. To let go of the things I can't control, to give it to God when it becomes to big for me. To appreciate the smaller moments that make up my life rather than define it by bigger events.
and, last but not least, number eight - support Shelvie in his worship (music) through prayer and encouragement. I actually picked this particular song because it was the song I walked down the aisle to. For years, this song represented to Shelvie what his future wife would be and mean to him. When someone has a clear picture of something, it's often hard to fill that and your constantly let down. It's humbling to know I fit that description. He loves me like nothing else in this world, flaws and all. Because of that, I want to be a prayer warrior for him. I know God has great things in store for him, one being music, and with prayer on his side and some gentle pushing/prodding/poking from me, he'll be where he wants to be one day.
What are your 2011 goals? What inspires you, challenges you to be a better you?!
I would love to know! Please tell me and attach a link so I can read about it :) Thanks for sharing!
AWWW u used my picture! yeaa! I love your goals. You inspire me to write mine down.
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